Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Chicken Ranch

         This morning I woke up to "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" playing on TV. Since I'm not one to just jump right out of bed in the morning, I laid and watched with the kids. 
I had explained to the children that I had seen this in Junior High. Almost 30 years ago... Amazing how it doesn't feel that long ago. Everyone had big 80s hair and the wrong shade of lipstick. I also started to notice something else that I hadn't noticed change so much over the years. All the women still looked different than one another. The didn't all have the same nose from the same doctor, their teeth weren't over whitened, Dolly had a lil furlough between her eyebrows from the lack of botox. They looked like "real" women.  I'm not against plastic surgery. Ive been filling my coffee can saving for my refresher...LOL However there is something to be said for what you may think are your flaws. For example when I look in the mirror I see the end of my nose that I always thought looked like a marble, No one else notices it, so I have moved on and that is not on the fix list. I have my dads nose and its a fine nose. Ive decided to wait til my nipples point to the floor before I get anything done.           

Monday, July 25, 2011

So what do you do...

       Every once in awhile you may say Ugly  things to friend or a family member that you may have said in anger, hurt, frustration, jealousy, or just being misinformed. So what do you do? Most of the time when things have calmed down and you have your wits about you. You call that person and apologize or explain the situation til you find a common ground. Well everyone knows that one person... the one that has dug the hole so deep the light at the top is but a faint memory. So what do you do? Once you have extended a hand or threw them a rope to help them out, do you just start kicking the dirt back in on them. You see you can LIE about or to so many people... but those that know you, I mean really know you, know that for as long as they can remember... You are mean... and thats it. Your just mean. You have belittled the man you spent twenty some years with to the point he wouldnt even look for you when you go missing. He knew. Everyone wants to be your favorite neice or nephew, not because you are so wonderful but because they are hoping not to be picked on or talked about. They knew. You cant treat someone horrible throughout their childhood, plot to embarass them at a family reunion with their  long distance love, lie about family members to look like the one in their corner just to pull info out of them. She knew. Everyone that knows you can see right thru that bullshit facade. So be thankful for your facebook friends, the ones that dont know you. The ones that havent seen you in over 20 years. The OLD friends and family that hasnt deleted or blocked you yet just dont want to be on the proverbial shit list. So what do you do?
Well as upset with the way you and others have been treated. As much as you hope that one day you will see Karma bite them in the ass. The truth is when your DNA is concerned its not as much fun to watch as you might think. Its sad, part of you thinks "well, its bound to come around" and another part wants to shake them and say grow up stop lying and start apologizing so we can clean this mess. Then theres a part of you that wants to hug them and ask what happened that made them so mean. Its like watchin the neighbor dog being eatin by snake. So What Do You Do! I have a shovel do I chop the snake in half, do I put the dog out of its misery... its hard to watch it slowly being swallowed.   

"The characters in this story are fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental, and a direct result of your own guilt"

Monday, July 11, 2011

Expiration Date

          So I have recently been informed that I have an expiration date. I see on movies and TV all the time about women needing to get married and have children and the desperation that goes along with it. I too have flip-flopped on this position many times myself.
         On one hand having a special someone to spend your life with and share all your details with. To have a partner that is in it for the long haul raising children, building a nest egg, someone to travel with during your retired years. Sounds great... so why do I have a knot in my stomach.
          The other hand, which is where I have been living most of my life.  I enjoy my come and go easiness. I like making spur of the moment plans and not checking with someone elses work schedule. My kids have had one parent most of their lives and I have found One parent One rule. There is no one to undercut my authority, no power struggle. Mom is in charge. Dad is in involved hes the guy you spend weekends fishing with, mud riding and bathing isn't a requirement. Hes like a holiday, even I enjoy his company, his "holiday" fun. I'm thankful and O' so lucky he is there for them but I am just as thankful that he is there and I am.......... here. 
              I will be 56 when my last child graduates from high school 10 years after said exp. date. God willing I will get another 25 years to do as I please. I really don't think I want to do it compromising and keeping track of yet, someone elses stuff. I know my mom was not the only parent that said "when you move on your "own" you can make your "own" rules..."  That was never followed by until you get married. This is where I have my conflict... I'm not interested in their rules.. I like mine. They work for me. I'm not gonna ask someone if I can go see my family or go see friends they have nothing in common with. I'm not gonna be worried I didn't make it home on time cause a grown ass person cant figure out how to work the microwave.
           Since being informed that after 46 you are no longer looked at as a woman you are looked at as an "old" woman. I have a few years left to sow some of those wild oats... LOL.  So far as I look back on my life, no real regrets... probably could have managed my time better, but it was MY time to have, and I'm content.
            I would like to add Sandra Bullock, Courtney Cox, Jodie Foster, and Diane Lane all 46 or older. Still very hot!     

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

"Bella Vita"

           This morning my Cheesecake woke and smiled with her  angelic lil face. After making her breakfast and setting up her tray. I carried it into my princess while she lay in bed. I went thru the special delivery ritual, while she situates herself. She looks thru her full lashes and asked "So, what are we doing fun today?" With  a full list of stuff I needed to get done, I tried to come up with something that we can both be doing to get thru our day with no crying, usually me.
             Tea Party is always a big hit. So the wheels were set in motion. First thing the house needed cleaning, my list of stuff to do, you cant have a respectable tea party if your parlor is full of clean laundry to put away. So as I prepared the house Cheesecake sat at the kitchen table making a crown to wear for the tea party. Her art stuff spread all over the table. I spend a good portion of my time helping her make cutouts to paste on her crown.  Still trying to clean,  she is ready for her next project...

               Normally we have little finger sandwiches with no crust but of course we are out of bread.. So hurry think I say to myself  Cookies we could make cookies. Nope no eggs.. I'm starting to feel flustered then I remember I have a great homemade donut recipe. So we start putting it together. I now have another load of dishes to do chocolate glaze to clean off the floor from the occasional drip. A floor I had already mopped..  Chocolate Glazed Donuts are on her tea tray stacked so neatly. Of course the princess is covered in chocolate. So off to the bath to clean her up and wash her hair. Her very long hair attached to her very tender head which can make grooming her a task on its own.

              Sitting across from her, we sip Jasmine Tea and nibble on our donuts. Though today was spent cleaning mess after mess... Her little face all smiles, making memories. I couldn't help but think about poor Caylee Anthony, born only a couple months before my Cheesecake.  How could you be so callous Casey...How could you just discard such a "Bella Vita"!

Friday, July 1, 2011

The Trap

      So I believe I that my neighbors have moved out and let their deviant cousins take over the lease.... I have been woke up all night by their comings and goings. I have tracked the landowner thru the Assessors office and took that information to google their number. Called left a first message which should have been thought out better before the actual dialing. I fumbled thru the message and hoped I would get a return call. Waited... no call. So the next day I composed myself and called again left yet another message of who I was... the property in question and my return number. Finally I get a call and as soon as I answer the phone I hear the woman asking who is this. She sounded bothered and aggressive. I knew from called ID  who it was so I quickly gave her my name and told her I was looking for the owner of the property next door. She asked me again who I was. So I asked who I was speaking with, another response of who I am.. I then explained that I tracked her thru the assessors office and I was just inquiring on the property next door.  She said she didn't own that property and I told her where the property was and she says she own property in the area but not that one ....  I didn't mention that her husband is paying the taxes on it, I figured at this point that some women have no idea what their hubby is out buying.

          What to do...  Late at night they walk around the back fence and are in and out the back door all night. I can see young kids running thru the yard late at night. Its just unnerving, One of the little delinquents had broke into my home months ago. So when the neighbor left I was thankful thinking their family would not be visiting anymore. I'm not even sure there is anyone in there old enough to sign a lease. They don't show up one at a time its more like 5 or 6 all the time... They peek thru the blinds everytime there is a move outside. Its just a little to fishy.

          So this morning while walking my 85 lb boxer, and looking at my yard that needed to be mowed... It came to me! How to slow them down a little, and well I'm a bit passive aggressive.. later today when we get out the poop scoop to clean the yard before I mow... I think I'm going to leave  a strategic little poop mine field in the path they run at night... so I'm off to rig up a night vision camera and hope for a slip and fall...